


Starting Over

by avaalons



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Chris Evans - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Children, F/M, Family, Fresh Starts, Marriage, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 03:45:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avaalons/pseuds/avaalons
Summary: For the first time since your separation, your husband Chris comes to pick the kids up.





	Starting Over

Chris drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, impatient for the stop light to flash green. He just wanted to get this over with, because it was going to fucking hurt. 

Driving to his own home, where he wasn’t currently living, to pick up his kids just so he could see them was something he never thought he would be doing. He’d waited so long to actually settle down, waited for his career to be at the right point so that he could give his all to his future wife and kids, that he just kind of assumed that when he finally did find the ‘one’, it would be for good. Never, not for one moment, did he envisage eight years after his wedding day, he’d have to knock on his own front door for his wife to let him in. 

But that’s what he was doing. Only, it wasn’t his wife, you, that answered. It was the angelic face of his eldest daughter that peered around the door.

‘Hey dad,’ her voice was subdued. She was still sad and angry that her dad wasn’t living in the same house as her at the moment, and her seven year old brain didn’t know how to deal with it. She didn’t know who to blame: him for leaving or her mom for not letting him back. As long as she wasn’t blaming herself, that was the main thing. She stood back to let Chris in and turned to shout back into the house. ‘Boys! Come on, dad’s here!’

‘Cassie, sweetheart, you know you’re not supposed to answer the door,’ Chris kept his voice steady, not scolding, ‘Me or your mom will…’

He drifted off as he realised what he said. He wouldn’t be answering the door because he wasn’t living there. 

Her lip wobbled and Chris immediately dropped to his knees, opening his arms to her, 'Come here, baby girl.’

She flew to him, wrapping her little arms around his neck, burying her face against his tshirt.

'I hate you not being here. I just want you to come home, daddy!’ Her voice was muffled but thick with tears and he squeezed her gently, trying to soak up all her grief. He could feel tears prick his own eyes.

'I love you and your brothers so much. So much. And that will never change, okay?’

'It’s just not the same. I wanted special Mickey Mouse pancakes for my breakfast this morning because it’s Saturday, but you weren’t here,’ her words were punctuated with chest-wracking sobs. 

Jesus. He could barely breathe for his own desolation. It had only been just over a week since he’d packed up a few things and reluctantly left the house to go and crash at a buddy’s and it was still raw. So raw.

Chris had done a lot of soul searching over the past week, trying to work out where he’d gone wrong. There hadn’t been anything major. No one had been unfaithful, there hadn’t been a massive, ear-blasting argument. You had both just… stopped being in a relationship with each other. But had you fallen out of love? That was the biggest question. If it was a matter of talking more, more date nights, doing special things for each other… that could be fixed but if the love had gone, that was much more terrifying. 

Chris had no answer for the pancakes comment. He wouldn’t be here to make them in the morning as a Sunday alternative instead. And he couldn’t make them for her where he was staying because there wasn’t enough room for the kids at his friend’s house. The very thought of having to find a rental, or even worse, a permanent place to live, made him want to be sick. 

All he could do was kiss her hair and hope she knew he loved her more than his own life. 

'Where’s your mom?’ he asked gently.

'Right here,’ you replied from your spot in the doorway that lead through to the kitchen. You were stood with your arms wrapped around your middle and Chris had never seen you look so small or vulnerable. Your cheeks were damp from the tears you shed watching the emotional reunion of your husband and your daughter. 

You watched Chris stand up, easily picking Cassie up as he went, keeping her head tucked against his neck as her sobs subsided into quiet snuffles. 

He approached you slowly, like you were a wounded animal and you could barely look at him, the tragedy of this day overwhelming you and filling your eyes with tears again. 

'Hi,’ he said, quietly, 'How have you been doing?’

You just shook your head, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth to try and keep the crying at bay. 

'Sweetheart…,’ he whispered, pain etched across his features, but you shook your head again, holding a hand up to him to silently ask him to stop. 

He sighed before continuing, 'Are the boys ready?’

You nodded and gestured to the room behind you, managing to get a few words out, 'Just getting their backpacks ready.’

'Okay. Cassie, have you got your things?’

His little girl pointed to a bag she’d set by the front door, her arm limp. Chris set her on the floor and she immediately clung to his leg.

'Can you do a big job for me?’ he asked, trying to placate her and she nodded, looking up at him with big blue eyes, 'Can you go and see what Freddie and Noah are up to? Help them get their bags ready?’

She sloped off to the kitchen, leaving Chris alone with you. You felt like your airways were closing up and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

'Look at me,’ his voice was soft when he spoke but you knew you’d crumble completely if you looked at him and you promised yourself you’d keep it together. 

You could feel him closing the distance and you backed up so you were against the wall. He reached out for one of your hands and turned it over in his before entwining his fingers with yours.

'What’s going on here? What are we doing?’ he pleaded.

You shrugged, 'I don’t know Chris. This just hurts too much.’ 

'I know it hurts, baby. I just don’t understand why, or how, we got here.’

'I guess we just… forgot how to be a couple. Were you happy? Like really happy?’

'I know I’m fucking miserable now.’

You did look up at him then, letting the tears come freely.

'Me too,’ you admitted, covering your face with your hands as let all your grief out. 

Then two arms were around you: one around your waist, the other up your back so that his hand was cradling your head. You sobbed harder than ever and you could tell from his heaving chest that he was crying too. 

'It’s going to be okay,’ he was adamant, 'We’re going to fix this, you hear me?’

You nodded against him, bunching the material of his tshirt between your fists. He pulled you back by the shoulders and tucked one hand under your chin so that you had to look at him. 

'Firstly, we’ve got three gorgeous kids in there who need their mom and their dad. Secondly, we’ve been together ten years, married for eight, and we can’t just throw that away like this, right?’

'I know,’ you agreed, 'Thirdly?’

'Thirdly, I know you think I’ve fallen out of love with you, and I regret anything I’ve ever done or not done that has lead to you feeling like that, because you are my one. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible love someone else. So, if you still love me, then we’re going to fight for what we’ve got, okay? Because I am not giving up on this.’

Another wave of tears overtook you. _Damnit! You just couldn’t get a grip on them._

'So do you?’ He asked tentatively, 'Still love me?’

You placed a palm on either side of his face, noting somewhere in your mind that he’d not trimmed his beard for some time. It was longer than he usually let it get. 

'I love you, I do. But Chris, if we’re going to do this, we’ve got to get better at showing it to each other. I can’t be in a marriage where I spend half my time wondering if my husband actually even likes spending time with me or not.’

He closed his eyes, the words tearing at him, 'I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry.’

You rested your forehead against his, 'Let’s just get back on track, okay? I can’t deal with another week like this one, Chris, I can’t. I miss you so much, so much.’ 

The last words were barely above a whisper, betraying just how the previous week had torn at you.

'Whatever it takes. Do we need to consider therapy, together?’

'Got nothing to lose, have we?’

'Okay. You look into it, I’ll look into it, and we’ll see what we find.’

You nodded again, glad to have even one thing in pipeline to focus on. 

'And I’m going to take the kids today, as planned. Could you drop them some overnight things off at your mom’s or my mom’s today?’

You looked at him in confusion, 'What? I…’

'Well, I think we need to go on a date tonight. Let’s start simple, yeah?’

'O-okay? Shall I meet you somewh-’

'No, stay here. Be ready to go for eight, okay?’ Chris was in full planning mode now, not wanting to lose this opportunity. He recognised he’d been given a shot and he intended to take it.

He rounded up his daughter and sons, helping them on with their back packs, and herded them into his waiting car. You waved to them from the top step of the porch, framed by the doorway, as Chris pulled away.

Once you were alone, you closed the door gently and leaned against it, trying to process everything that had just happened, and then set about preparing for the evening.

***

The kids seemed to be having fun at least, having temporarily forgotten the turmoil of the last week. Chris had taken them to the aquarium as they were all quite science minded and were interested in all the things they could learn about various aquatic creatures. Freddie especially was enthralled by all the shark exhibitions ('But they’re friendly really dad!’ He’d tried to explain but Chris wasn’t convinced) and Noah liked the turtles and frogs. His little princess, to his horror, fawned over the snakes, calling them cute, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when Cassie asked if she could get a pet snake. 

They all ate lunch in the aquarium restaurant, sat in a booth shaped like a captain’s cabin and Chris was able to quickly get on the phone and make some reservations. He felt positive, a definite improvement on the overwhelming sadness he’d experienced for the last week, and spending some quality time with his children was helping to lift his spirits also. He wanted his family back together as soon as possible, of that he was certain. 

After they’d spent a small fortune in the gift shop, Chris typed out a quick text to you:

Grandma’s or Nana’s? xx

Your reply was quick:

Nana’s. Your mom has Carly’s kids over tonight and I didn’t want to to double her workload with ours xx

He smiled at the chatty nature of your reply and the use of 'ours’. You were still a unit.

Okay, see you at 8 beautiful xx

What’s the dress code? xx

Whatever you want. Put your sweats on and still be the most stunning woman around xx

All right Casanova, calm down. I’ll see you at 8 xxx

Your husband of eight years had actually made you blush over text.

***

You were ready. You dug around in your wardrobe for a dress you hadn’t worn in years and managed to put an outfit together that you thought would pass as date clothing. It was a deep muted purple pencil cut with a Bardot neckline. Simple, but sexy. You chose some white gold and diamond earrings that Chris gifted to you on one of your anniversaries and some black strapped heels, your favourite, sinfully high pair that went with everything. You teased your hair into loose waves and combed a deep side part in, tucking the small side behind your ear for an old Hollywood glamour feel. A touch of smoky eye, lashings of mascara and a swipe of soft nude lipstick completed the look and as you stood in the full length mirror, you couldn’t even remember the last time you looked like this. 

It had been so long since you dressed up for Chris and you wondered if you should do it more often. You knew he actively liked your yoga pants and thin tshirts and ponytails, you knew he found casual sexy, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t like to see you dressed up once in a while, knowing it was all for him. 

When you finished, it was seven forty and you headed to the kitchen for a small glass of Prosecco just to calm your nerves. For some reason, this was more nerve wracking than any first date you’d ever been on, but you guessed it was because there was so much more riding on it. A whole future, in fact. 

Well the doorbell rang, you jumped a little even though you had been expecting it. You switched all the lights off as you moved through the rooms, grabbing your clutch bag as you passed the side table in the hall.

You opened the door, anticipation making your hands tremble a little and there he was, looking sharp in a well cut dark grey suit and crisp, white v-neck shirt. He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling, and he held out his hand, pulling you to him to drop a kiss against your cheek when you placed your hand in his.

'Hi, I’m Chris, it’s so nice to meet you, finally. I’ve heard so much about you. Can I just say that you look absolutely breath-taking?’ His polite smile turned to a cheeky grin as he watched your surprised reaction at his game. 

'It’s nice to meet you too,’ you replied, playing along. 'Where are we off to tonight?’

'It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.’

He held out his arm for you to hold on to as he escorted you down the steps and into the passenger seat of the car. 

You watched him walk around the front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. He settled into the driver’s seat and took the handbrake off.

'Ready?’ he asked, a questioning expression on his face.

You answered with a definitive nod of your head, linking your hand with his over the armrest between you.

'Ready.’


End file.
